My Staff & Me

Mood: tired but happy

Items on my to-do list: answer e-mails, facilitate "lock your doors" program, prep for academic advising workshops, update Blackboard Site for EDL 306, develop prompt for first paper of my EDL 306 grads, figure out academic advising schedule, Social Justice Committee (I'm sure there's something I need to do for that even though I can't think of all the details right now) and and and...it's going to be quite the busy weekend



As you can see from my to-do list, I should probably do work right now. Instead I am sitting in the basement...we have a "Back To Childhood" program going on right now and the students are playing games and listening to music...and writing in this blog. It's just more fun than worrying about my endless to-do list right now.

I've spent a lot of time with my RAs lately...more than usually and that's saying something. In the past, I've often gotten the feedback from supervisors that I was too close with the students in the student organizations that I advised (RHA, NRHH); I never directly got that feedback about my relationships with RAs, even though I am at least as close with them, if not even closer...and this year more than ever. It's tough. I'm fully aware that there needs to be a line and some boundaries. After all, I'm their supervisor; I'm the one who fills out their job evaluations. But what do you do when you just have some fabulous RAs that you totally connect with?

But let's talk a little more about my supervisory style. I'm not necessarily an easy person to work for. I have very high expectations. My RAs have stricter programming requirements than other halls - for example, these past two weeks, we've basically had a program every single night. And unless they've had class, they've been at all of them. Last year, my RAs had a residential curriculum including meaningful conversations and one-on-one's with residents as well as very structured and intentional programming last year when the rest of the campus was still working with our regular programming model, which - let's be honest - was not as time-intensive. This year, at least, the rest of the campus has a similar model but I still feel like the model for our living learning community is a little more intense...mostly because we don't just have departmental strategies but about a million community-specific initiatives.
Knowing that I ask a lot of my staff, I also try to support them in any way I can. I try to build very close relationships with them because that relationship will be a better basis for our work together - then, they can will hopefully also trust me and tell me honestly when I'm asking too much of them. It also doesn't hurt that, when staff likes you, they tend to work a little harder because they don't want to disappoint you.
I will never ask anything of my staff that I wouldn't do myself. Which means that for the past two weeks, I've been at a program every night. When I know they're superbusy (like right now), I try to take on little tasks for them (like posting flyers in the hall or making ads for some of our programs). I try to recognize them regularly (by submitting Of The Month Awards through the National Residence Hall Honorary or leaving cute notes and little gifts in their mailboxes...that's actually something I should add to my to-do list because I got gifts for them last week but never got around to writing the notes...I'll take care of that tonight!). I also stop by their rooms often, ask how they are doing and try to do some fun things with them. And of course, as they share things about their personal life with me, I also tend to share some stories about my personal life with them, even though I always try to make sure the focus stays on them...unless they're just really curious about me.
But when you do all that, you, of course, become very close and the lines between supervisor and friend can easily get blurred.
What I tell myself though is that it's not an issue as long as you are still very clear about your expectations as a supervisor and the RAs are aware of these. You also have to be very careful to address any performance concerns early on and in an appropriate setting (like during a 1-on-1 and not while you're hanging out). Of course, you also have to be careful not to treat your RAs differently and have "favorites." I put "favorites" in quotes because, of course, you'll connect more with some than others - which I think is okay as long as you still reach out to all of them and treat them fairly in regards to their RA responsibilities. Yes, I don't hang out as much with some as I do with others - but I usually invite all of them when I do something, and just because I hung out with one RA more doesn't mean I'll let them off easier when it comes to their RA responsibilities or share info with them that I wouldn't share with the others.

Maybe I'm completely wrong, but this has worked pretty well for me so far. I think supervision is one of those things where you just have to figure out what works for you. I know many colleagues you wouldn't feel comfortable having the relationships with their RAs that I have with mine. And I think that's totally okay. But I also know that I probably couldn't work with them as well if I didn't have those personal connections.

Okay, enough about supervision. Let's talk about something a little more exciting....

One of my RAs and I went on a road trip to see this band I mentioned earlier, We The Living. As to be expected, we had a blast. :) We also got a chance to hang out with the band a little, which was really fun. They totally remind me of some of my friends from undergrad (friends who're all living way too far away from me, so I never get to see them). And I just felt like I could be myself around them. When I'm at school, I often feel like I have to be "First Year Adviser [insert name]" - around my students, my colleagues (the least around my RAs actually...haha). I mean, I can have fun and act crazy (like dancing on a table at an 80's Dance Party in our basement, being the first to start dancing at the RHA Formal, listening to the same song 20 times in my office because I'm in love with a certain band...what band might that be?...haha) but I always have that voice in the back of my head that says, "What kind of role model are you to your students/colleagues right now?" I guess that comes with having a job where you live in a fish bowl and have to be a good role model 24/7. And it's not like I actually do anything "bad" that my students and colleagues couldn't or shouldn't see. I guess I'm just a little more guarded around them.
Also, with my students and colleagues I usually just talk about work-related stuff. We may have a brief conversation about a TV show or something random, but then the conversation quickly shifts back to being about college life. And we all know I love college life. But it's just so refreshing to talk to someone who isn't part of this ResLife cult. It just gives me the feeling like I'm actually still a real person and not just this pathetic workaholic.

Okay, enough rambling. If you haven't done so yet, check out We The Living!!!