Song of the Day:
"If you knew
this was your last day
what would you do?"
- "Last Day," Ari Herstand
(go to www.myspace.com/ariherstand)
One of my grads and I had an interesting conversation today. We were talking about a staff member. This staff members tends to be pretty moody. We've all gotten used to his moods and just deal with it. He tends to get all worked up over a situation or he's just super grumpy one day, and then the next day everything is okay again. So sometimes, we'll just ignore it and then talk to him the next day.
At a recent meeting that my grad had with this staff member, he was in one of his moods and was pretty rude to her. I heard about it from another staff member, who was pretty offended by his behavior and felt bad for my grad.
My grad and I talked about it today. She said she'd been debating about whether or not to confront him about his behavior. She has, just like the rest of us, gotten so used to his mood swings that she doesn't take it personally anymore and doesn't let it bother her. But she also knows that, in the "real world," he wouldn't get away with this. Would he behave like this in the real world? We hope not. But does that mean then that he doesn't respect us as he'd respect a supervisor in a "real" job. And isn't that a huge issue in itself? And if he did behave like this in another job, isn't it our responsibility to realize that this isn't okay and help him affectively manage his emotions so he's better prepared for a job.
We came to the conclusion that this is definitely something that needs to be addressed. Well, I'm sure I'll find out how that went soon....
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
On needing a new life...
So I just had the most amazing weekend ever. We had "Fall Break," which isn't a real break...it's just one extra day we get off (Friday) but it's still better than nothing, right? Well, two of my friends and I went to Boston and then drove down to UMass to see my favorite band (if you've been reading this blog, you know who they are...lol) and the next day, I drove to UConn to see them again. Haha...I know that's crazy! ;)
Anyway, we had a wonderful time. :) Sightseeing and a little bit of window shopping in Boston, the two concerts, hanging out with the band members and and and. I have about 100 pictures from the weekend, a few fun videos and lots of great memories.
But now I'm back at work and everything just seems to annoy me. You'd think that after having had a great weekend away from work, I'd be refreshed and reenergized but I'm not. One of my RAs was trying to argue with me about how to complete a "Weekly Report" (this set of questions they have to answer once a week...things like how they're doing, what's going on with their residents, etc.)...and just because I said I want her to elaborate on her answers. For example, when it says "How are you doing?" I'd like her to write a little more than "I'm fine". I mean, after all this is my grads and my chance to find out what's going on in her life. But oh no, apparently that was too much to ask for.
Then, later today, another RA asked me if it'd be okay if he came 30 seconds late to the staff meeting - because of a TV show. He asked if the "being on time" policy was something that was a policy but that wasn't enforced. WHAT??? I mean, SERIOUSLY! I'm sorry if there's a TV show you want to watch that ends at 9 pm (which usually they end a couple minutes before anyway and he'd probably just miss the "scenes from next week's episode"), but if we say staff meeting starts at 9 pm, it starts at 9 pm. If I let him be 30 seconds late, then I have to let everyone be 30 seconds late. And let's be honest, it'd never stay with 30 seconds and soon we'd be starting meetings later and later.
It's also freezing cold in the building, especially in my apartment. Right now, I am curled up in my comforter because I couldn't handle it...and I'm still cold! I've talked to the Housing Manager and he said he submitted a request to turn on the heat. Who knows when that'll happen! And to make matters worse, one of my RAs thought she'd be really clever and submit a Repair Request to our Housing Manager to have the heat turned on. Of course that pissed off our Housing Manager. It's not like anything's broken; the heat just hasn't been turned on yet. So he sent me a not-so-nice message because, of course, it's my fault when my RAs do something he doesn't like.
I don't know what's going on today. I just feel like I need a new life. Something needs to change because I'm sick of this!!! I'm sick of having to deal with petty little stuff. I'm sick of people not taking their responsibilities seriously. I'm sick of people trying to argue with me over things that aren't up for debate. I think I'm usually a pretty open-minded person - willing to hear and take students' feedback into account. But there's some things that are just job responsibilities; so why do I need to waste my time arguing over them?
Thanks to my wonderful and amazing weekend, I'm also way behind with work. I have about 50 unread e-mails in my inbox. I don't have a staff meeting agenda for tonight (I only have 3 hours left, one of which I'll be spending at dinner, one of which I'll be spending in meetings with students) and I need to clean my apartment since staff meetings take place in here (I haven't unpacked yet; and there's still art supplies lying around from some projects I worked on last week).
All I want to do is curl up in bed and read; or sleep; or work on another art project that I just thought of today (a certain band member inspired me...lol).
But I gotta run....
Let's hope things at work start looking a little brighter soon....
Anyway, we had a wonderful time. :) Sightseeing and a little bit of window shopping in Boston, the two concerts, hanging out with the band members and and and. I have about 100 pictures from the weekend, a few fun videos and lots of great memories.
But now I'm back at work and everything just seems to annoy me. You'd think that after having had a great weekend away from work, I'd be refreshed and reenergized but I'm not. One of my RAs was trying to argue with me about how to complete a "Weekly Report" (this set of questions they have to answer once a week...things like how they're doing, what's going on with their residents, etc.)...and just because I said I want her to elaborate on her answers. For example, when it says "How are you doing?" I'd like her to write a little more than "I'm fine". I mean, after all this is my grads and my chance to find out what's going on in her life. But oh no, apparently that was too much to ask for.
Then, later today, another RA asked me if it'd be okay if he came 30 seconds late to the staff meeting - because of a TV show. He asked if the "being on time" policy was something that was a policy but that wasn't enforced. WHAT??? I mean, SERIOUSLY! I'm sorry if there's a TV show you want to watch that ends at 9 pm (which usually they end a couple minutes before anyway and he'd probably just miss the "scenes from next week's episode"), but if we say staff meeting starts at 9 pm, it starts at 9 pm. If I let him be 30 seconds late, then I have to let everyone be 30 seconds late. And let's be honest, it'd never stay with 30 seconds and soon we'd be starting meetings later and later.
It's also freezing cold in the building, especially in my apartment. Right now, I am curled up in my comforter because I couldn't handle it...and I'm still cold! I've talked to the Housing Manager and he said he submitted a request to turn on the heat. Who knows when that'll happen! And to make matters worse, one of my RAs thought she'd be really clever and submit a Repair Request to our Housing Manager to have the heat turned on. Of course that pissed off our Housing Manager. It's not like anything's broken; the heat just hasn't been turned on yet. So he sent me a not-so-nice message because, of course, it's my fault when my RAs do something he doesn't like.
I don't know what's going on today. I just feel like I need a new life. Something needs to change because I'm sick of this!!! I'm sick of having to deal with petty little stuff. I'm sick of people not taking their responsibilities seriously. I'm sick of people trying to argue with me over things that aren't up for debate. I think I'm usually a pretty open-minded person - willing to hear and take students' feedback into account. But there's some things that are just job responsibilities; so why do I need to waste my time arguing over them?
Thanks to my wonderful and amazing weekend, I'm also way behind with work. I have about 50 unread e-mails in my inbox. I don't have a staff meeting agenda for tonight (I only have 3 hours left, one of which I'll be spending at dinner, one of which I'll be spending in meetings with students) and I need to clean my apartment since staff meetings take place in here (I haven't unpacked yet; and there's still art supplies lying around from some projects I worked on last week).
All I want to do is curl up in bed and read; or sleep; or work on another art project that I just thought of today (a certain band member inspired me...lol).
But I gotta run....
Let's hope things at work start looking a little brighter soon....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
"Interesting"
"How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?" - RENT
As always, when I'm posting on this blog, it's in the middle of the night and I should really be in bed. But somehow I always just have this urge to write and I know I won't be able to go to bed right away anyway. So I'm listening to music and am rambling on and on....
Work's been - well - "interesting" lately. I've been super busy. To the point where I don't have time to think about anything, I just do what needs to get done. I always feel like I'm behind. I'm up late at night trying to catch up on work, knowing that I'll never be completely on track. I go through my e-mail trying to delete old e-mails, sort them, respond - knowing that just a few hours later, my inbox will be filled again.
I still enjoy what I do. I like having one-on-one advising meetings with my students and talking to them about how college is going for them, talking about their interest, the challenges they're facing, and so on. I love my staff and enjoy spending time with them (even though some of them can be a little high maintenance sometimes...*sigh*). I am passionate about social justice - which I try to include in everything I do within the hall and which, of course, my committee centers around. But somehow - inspite of all that - I'm having a hard time getting motivated. I find myself staring at the computer screen, checking Facebook or MySpace every few minutes (I'm usually not that addicted to social networking pages), checking my favorite band's Web site every few hours to see if they've posted something new (which never happens often enough), I send instant messages to people I haven't talked to in years, or I just daydream.
Maybe I'm just tired, stressed - who knows. Maybe this is a sign that this really needs to be my last year here. I love my job but I'm not as committed, as enthusiastic about it anymore. I think I have a better grasp on what I'm supposed to be doing; I've been able to improve in a lot of different areas (of course there's still lots of room for further improvement). Nevertheless, I see myself messing up, falling short of my own expectations, forgetting things that should not be forgotten.
Is this a case of "Seniorities"? I was never one to say, "I'm leaving, I don't care anymore." My last year with NRHH at my undergrad, I developed a detailed manual for our executive board because I wanted to leave a legacy behind. I still have high hopes and goals for this year. There's so much I want to accomplish.
And occasionally it'll hit me. This is my last year here (at least if everything goes according to plan). And as much as I've had my rough times here, I've loved it. I love this school; I love the job; I'm comfortable here. I've connected with many students and various student organizations. I know how to do things, where to go for help. I'm just - comfortable!
It won't be easy leaving here. I am scared of new beginnings. Not knowing anyone, not knowing how to do things. What if I mess up? What if I don't fit in there?
And then another, childish, stupid thought crosses my mind. What if I end up moving to a place where my favorite band never performs? Those concerts - even though there's only been four this year...one of which I hosted - have become such a huge part of my life in these past few weeks (I know it's kinda crazy...haha...maybe I am truly losing my mind) that right now, I just can't imagine life without them. This is what my friends and I talk about. This is what I think about when I'm not thinking about work. What would life be like without that?
I'm enough of a realist to know that I can't base my job search of a band's tour schedule, but seriously...I just really can't bare to imagine life without those concerts right now.
As always, when I'm posting on this blog, it's in the middle of the night and I should really be in bed. But somehow I always just have this urge to write and I know I won't be able to go to bed right away anyway. So I'm listening to music and am rambling on and on....
Work's been - well - "interesting" lately. I've been super busy. To the point where I don't have time to think about anything, I just do what needs to get done. I always feel like I'm behind. I'm up late at night trying to catch up on work, knowing that I'll never be completely on track. I go through my e-mail trying to delete old e-mails, sort them, respond - knowing that just a few hours later, my inbox will be filled again.
I still enjoy what I do. I like having one-on-one advising meetings with my students and talking to them about how college is going for them, talking about their interest, the challenges they're facing, and so on. I love my staff and enjoy spending time with them (even though some of them can be a little high maintenance sometimes...*sigh*). I am passionate about social justice - which I try to include in everything I do within the hall and which, of course, my committee centers around. But somehow - inspite of all that - I'm having a hard time getting motivated. I find myself staring at the computer screen, checking Facebook or MySpace every few minutes (I'm usually not that addicted to social networking pages), checking my favorite band's Web site every few hours to see if they've posted something new (which never happens often enough), I send instant messages to people I haven't talked to in years, or I just daydream.
Maybe I'm just tired, stressed - who knows. Maybe this is a sign that this really needs to be my last year here. I love my job but I'm not as committed, as enthusiastic about it anymore. I think I have a better grasp on what I'm supposed to be doing; I've been able to improve in a lot of different areas (of course there's still lots of room for further improvement). Nevertheless, I see myself messing up, falling short of my own expectations, forgetting things that should not be forgotten.
Is this a case of "Seniorities"? I was never one to say, "I'm leaving, I don't care anymore." My last year with NRHH at my undergrad, I developed a detailed manual for our executive board because I wanted to leave a legacy behind. I still have high hopes and goals for this year. There's so much I want to accomplish.
And occasionally it'll hit me. This is my last year here (at least if everything goes according to plan). And as much as I've had my rough times here, I've loved it. I love this school; I love the job; I'm comfortable here. I've connected with many students and various student organizations. I know how to do things, where to go for help. I'm just - comfortable!
It won't be easy leaving here. I am scared of new beginnings. Not knowing anyone, not knowing how to do things. What if I mess up? What if I don't fit in there?
And then another, childish, stupid thought crosses my mind. What if I end up moving to a place where my favorite band never performs? Those concerts - even though there's only been four this year...one of which I hosted - have become such a huge part of my life in these past few weeks (I know it's kinda crazy...haha...maybe I am truly losing my mind) that right now, I just can't imagine life without them. This is what my friends and I talk about. This is what I think about when I'm not thinking about work. What would life be like without that?
I'm enough of a realist to know that I can't base my job search of a band's tour schedule, but seriously...I just really can't bare to imagine life without those concerts right now.
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