Frustration

Hey there,

Spring Break is over and I can't say that I'm upset about it. I loved being in Florida - I really love the beach and sun...I need to move south!!! But being with students - even when it is in a "fun" setting is just exhausting. You have to be "on" 24 hours a day...and I was not in the mood for that. I had the job search to worry about, the upcoming Invisible Children Concert that's giving me a headache (more about that later), other work-related issues, personal stuff; I just needed a few moments each day to myself. But getting those was basically impossible.

One day, I thought I'd be really smart and I sent everyone away for dinner while I stayed in to get some work done. I had barely turned on my computer, when my phone rang. Three of students didn't like the restaurant everyone else picked, had left and were now stranded somewhere on the side of the road. I had to go pick them up, drive them to Burger King, wait until they got their food. Then they wanted to stop at Baskin Robbins for ice cream. By the time we got back, the rest of the group was also on their way back. And once again I didn't get any work done.

I finally managed to escape the following day. We went to the beach. When we got out of the van, I told everyone to meet back up at 7:30 pm (after dinner). We walked down to the beach together. When they started pulling out their beach towels, I said needed to make a few phone calls and would just walk down the beach. I walked and walked until I couldn't see them anymore. Finally free!!! I wondered along the beach. I went swimming. I relaxed. I listened to the sounds of nature. I felt like a human being again!
I even decided to skip dinner just to have a few more minutes at the beach. Who needs food when you have a beach and there's no students around?!?

I did really enjoy working on the construction site. Maybe, in case this job search doesn't work out, I have a future as a construction worker. LoL. I'm afraid they don't give visas for that.
But I do greatly enjoy working with my hands once in a while. It's a nice change of pace from sitting in the office.

Needless to say, the job search didn't go well this week. I tried to sneak away a couple times in the evening to write some more cover letters and apply for jobs. I managed to get a few more applications out but not many. I'm starting to panic a little. ACPA is only two weeks away (not even) and so far, I only have one interview set up. AHHHH!!! I know I just sent out some applications Monday and I realize that people were at NASPA and The Placement Exchange, but shouldn't they have gotten back to me by now? What if nobody's interested in hiring me?

Okay, can't panic. I don't have time for that right now. I don't have time for anything right now really. I got back and I haven't been feeling well since. I fell asleep on my couch last night and didn't wake up until this morning at 9 am. I still wasn't feeling much better and after attempting to do work for a while, I gave up and took another nap, which lasted basically all day. I spent the evening putting up banners for the concert - there was a lot of cursing involved. I usually don't curse but this was an exception...seriously...either the trees were planted too far apart, didn't have branches on the bottom or just weren't in a good location. I brought my piano stool with me - yes, I love running around with a piano stool; that doesn't make me look like an idiot at all - and had one of my reliable and amazing RAs with me, who had offered to help me - even though this project isn't part of her responsibility. I can't even count the number of times I almost fell off the stool. I almost hit myself in the face with a knife. I did hit myself in the chest with the tape (fortunately it was just the tape and not the knife). I lost all feeling in my toes and fingers.

This concert was supposed to be fun. Lately it's become a source for quite a lot of frustration. I had a staff member working with me but she's been so stressed over everything lately that she hasn't been much help. I feel like I'm alone with this. I have some great staff members who've been helping out (one helped me paint banners for hours before break; the other one volunteered to help get donations and helped me put up all those sheets tonight...and promised to come along tomorrow and Tuesday to put up more sheets), but in the end all the responsibility falls on me. And if this wasn't enough stress, the band I'm working with has also been giving me a headache lately. They have a new production manager and I can't say that I'm a fan. Today, I noticed that he had changed the picture for the Facebook event for our concert. I had just put up one of the Invisible Children Benefit Concert posters. He changed it to a picture with just the band on it. Argh! This is wrong in so many ways...
1) This is an Invisible Children Benefit Concert. It's about Invisible Children, not about the band.
2) We have one of our a cappella groups performing. They're performing for free while I still have to pay the band. So they definitely deserve some recognition and publicity!
3) Hardly anyone on our campus knows the band. So it's not like they'd draw a large audience. Students here care about Invisible Children, so that'll draw an audience. Students love our a cappella group - that'll draw an audience. A no-name band will not.
And okay, this may be a childish reason but 4) This is my event. I've been working on this for months. He had no right to go in and change my picture. If he didn't like it, he could have sent me a message and asked me to change it. That would have been the polite thing to do. He's not managing Coldplay. This band still needs their fans, especially ones like me who are willing to organize events for them.

Maybe it's just the stress but I'm seriously upset. I'm seriously tempted to say, "Forget about it" and just cancel the concert. This is not worth it!!!

Okay, enough venting. I have tons of work to do. It's 4:30 am and there's no chance I'll get any sleep tonight. What a great way to start the week....